A San Franciscóban élő Becky Vieira még mindig szoptatja kétéves fiát, Archert, és nem is tervezi abbahagyni, amíg el nem fogy a teje. A 42 éves nő bárhol, bármikor táplálja a gyereket, ha az megéhezik, legyen szó arról, hogy éppen a vécében vagy egy étteremben üldögél. Az Instagramon meg is örökíti ezeket a pillanatokat, bár tudja, hogy sokan ellenzik ezt a módszert.
For some time I’ve felt like, as a proud woman & mom, I’m supposed to love the shape of my body. Embrace the wiggles and dimples. Teach my child self-love by example. Guess what? I do love my body — just not the way it looks right now. And I’m still able to respect the hell out of it. Am I breaking “mom code” here? I feel like I’m supposed to post a slo-mo video of myself running on the beach, and draw hearts around the jiggling cellulite on my thighs… saying how “I earned this,” to show how empowered I am. That’s not me. I’m nothing, if not honest. I did earn it. The sagging breasts. The midsection that sometimes shakes like Jell-O. Hell yes, I earned it. That’s the result of a lot of love, tears and joy. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. Not loving my body’s look does NOT mean I have body image issues, or that I’m embarrassed. Because I don’t and I’m not. It just means that I’m finally being honest. I wear this shape with pride. I don’t hide myself (obviously… look at this photo). I don’t beat myself up. But do I wish I had smaller thighs, a flatter stomach and less wiggle in my upper arms? You bet your ass I do! None of that, however, takes away from the fact that I’m in awe of what it did, and continues to do. I grew my child and kept him safe. Fed him. And continue to do so, nearly two years after he was born. The female body is amazing. MY BODY is amazing. Look, I’m not complaining. I’m just expressing what I feel when I look in the mirror. I don’t talk about this around my son. And I really don’t even dwell on it. I think it’s okay. Healthy — for me, at least — to be honest about this. I love and respect my body. But I don’t love the way it looks right now. No, I’m not ready to dive into an intensive diet and exercise routine. That’s not what I’m saying. I’ll find my way back to a flatter midsection eventually. Probably never completely flat — after all, I’ll be 43 next month. I just feel like I can respect the shape I’m in and not be totally content. I’ll never look like I’m 21 again. I don’t want to. But being honest with myself is a good start.
Everyone is lying to you. Parenthood is so much harder than you think. But it’s also infinitely better. It was a day of highs and lows. Isn’t that every day as a parent? His latest — and this has transpired in the last three days — is refusing to sleep. This isn’t just not wanting to sleep. It’s a defiant refusal. Clinging to me. Trying to get me to sleep with him. I’ve tried a few times, but that turns into him wanting to sing and play. So I peel him off me. My husband has to help me put him in the crib. We tell him we love him, that it’s time for bed. He gets himself so upset that he throws up. This is our current world: he barfs when he has to go to sleep. We will figure it out, I tell myself. I’ve contacted my sleep coach. I’m reading, asking for help. This too shall pass. It will run its course and we will all move on and away from the bedtime vomit drama. But something new will take its place. The struggles will continue. The joy will, too. I remind myself of that. I try to maintain my gratitude. Because I have a lot. It’s easier to do somedays than others, if I’m being honest. I’m emotionally and physically exhausted. But so in love with this little boy, this soul who makes my heart sing. I give him what he needs now. It’s hard to imagine when he’s screaming at the top of his lungs for me, but that won’t always be the case. He won’t always want, or need me like he does. So I take a deep breath. And embrace what is here and now. This little boy who finds comfort in the arms of him mom. Or breastfeeding. Who wants to be home, and his home is me. I feel humbled by that concept. Lucky. With that knowledge I know I can get up and do it all again tomorrow. It’s worth it. Every day it’s worth it. It’s just a lot harder than I ever thought. How are you doing?
„Azt mondják az anyáknak, hogy nagyon fontos a szoptatás, de ha több mint egy év után sem állsz le vele, elítélik. Amikor elkezdtem a fiamat szoptatni, elég fájdalmas és kínzó volt, de idővel jobb lett. Aztán Archernél refluxot diagnosztizáltak, ezért a gyermekorvos jobbnak tartotta a szoptatást bármilyen más módszernél. Szóval eredetileg csak azt akartam, hogy a fiamnak elmúljon a refluxa.”
Becky úgy tervezi, hogy a közeljövőben is szoptatni fogja fiát, és továbbra is ösztönöz más anyákat arra, hogy nyíltan beszéljenek a nyilvános szoptatásról.